Posts Tagged 'micronesia'

Guam Trip

I spent a year on Guam one week. I spent a few months there looking around. The people seem nice enough but the island is a disaster zone. Government corruption, government bankruptcy, decaying hotels, overpriced on everything from housing, rentals, food and beverage. As someone said to me, “I can’t think of one redeeming thing about this place.” And if you get island fever, which you will in no time, flying off the rock costs a small fortune. The airlines have you by the balls on prices. Anyway, so much for that place.

The place is a mirage.. when you arrive, they welcome you with open arms, but if you try to walk among them, they shun you and disgrace you.

Mind you, the men have no problem going “outside of the tribe” for a little fun, as do the women, but any true friendship is impossible because the local population suffers from such a blatant identity crisis, that they are not comfortable in their own skin much less the company of confident, curious stateside visitors, white or haolies (as they call us). the married ones make the best lovers because they have more interest in pleasing the white meat.

When you try to have a conversation with them, they do not maintain eye contact because they are constantly fabricating every next mistruth they will thrust upon you. they’re either trying to sell you something, get you into bed, or borrow something indefinitely. they always invite a couple of haolies to their fiestas, just so they can feel like they are not the ones being stared at.

The women have thunder thigh arms hanging from their shoulders, but if you had 10 of them in front of you, there wouldn’t be one tit between them. they are painfully flat, or have banana boobs, as i like to call them. their shoulders are narrower than their necks, which make them all look hopelessly like Shrek. the men simply look like orangutans: short in stature, large shoulders, short arms, ass-less, necklace, red toothed,troglodytes. watching them eat is not unlike feeding time at the zoo. they are a filthy, miserable, loathesome tribe. in a dark movie theatre, you cannot distinguish between the men and the women as they waddle past you to get to the seat next to you…. wherever you are.

there is something wrong physically with all of them. once, on super bowl Sunday, i saw a little girl about 3-4 yrs old, with her mother in line at McDonald’s. the little girl had 6 toes on each foot. my Filipino boyfriend explained to me that her parents are first cousins. people are bowlegged, missing limbs, are sterile, have burnt hair and other weirdness. the entire local population looks like a Mexican version of “THE HILLS HAVE EYES”. their only hope is to continue to infiltrate other cultures and breed so that future generations will look less like the bar scene from the original “STAR WARS”.

The Filipinos are the prettiest people here and the most entertaining. they are mostly a musical batch of forest fairy like creatures, but, they are all so tiny. you can look at them and see fear in their eyes. they are afraid of everything. the Korean men… Hmmmmm… now they are cooler than a frosty plate of ice. they all have the look and the cars that tell you they’re “fast and furious”. the Korean women all look exactly alike and smell like kimchee. a Korean woman’s icey stare could stop a clock. trust me, i know. one almost turned me into a pillar of salt.

As long as you are spending money in their businesses, they smile in your face. but to live here, work and try to walk among them or shop in “their” stores is a mistake.

North korea really should use this place for target practice.

I do not recommend Guam to anyone, ever!